Be Yourself #5

RELAX.

This one sounds great doesn't it! Finally, something we all enjoy doing. But can we do it when we want to? This means relax about ourselves. Don't take yourself too seriously. We are not going to die if someone sees something stuck in our teeth or if we slip on the sidewalk or in my case, (this is a good one and really happened to me) get my bike tire stuck in a rain grate and end up in a handstand with my feet in the foot clips in front of a line of stopped traffic. It was a little embarrassing but funny and I have to say it was an AMAZING handstand. After falling completely on the ground I had to pull my bike tire out of the grate, brush myself off and continue on the bike past all the cars who just saw mw wipe out, I definitely got an applause from a whole carload of college guys along with ROARING laughter. Think about it. It was funny!! When our reactions to things are relaxed, open and present other people feel able to connect.

I learned a funny thing the other day from someone very close to me. He doesn't mind if people single him out for the laugh. If he has done something to attract attention to himself, he believes it relieves attention from someone else who may not feel able to handle the joke or the mean behavior. He doesn't take anything personally. He really believes the person who has the problem is the person making the comments. He would rather be the one they target if it has to be someone. This is coming from someone who is not particularly out going or attention seeking. His attitude has come to be that way because he has relaxed about himself.

RELAX.


            Laugh at yourself.


                                  Let other people giggle.


                                                             Move forward and Cultivate.

Be Yourself #4

Be Honest and Open

The only way people get to know us is by what we show them. It is so tiring trying to be someone else that we are not. If we can trust that it is of the utmost importance to be honest and open about what we like, dislike, have an opinion of, don't care about, love, don't love, enjoy, elate over or can't bear to be a part of, then people who respect us and care about us truly will be more cognizant (s or z?, I chose the z. I don't get to use that letter often enough!) of who we really are at that moment.


Of course we need to be prepared that if we are all of a sudden being more honest than ever before we may have a period of change in people's reactions toward us. The preparation also needs to be in the awareness that some relationships may change. So, there may be a period of flux or separation of relationships.


The rewards, however, are amazing feelings of real self love and awareness. You will feel #1 in your world. You will feel validated and heard. You will feel like people get you for the first time and really it's because you were open to giving them the chance. You will feel free and powerful. You will find your tribe. You will be in control of yourself.


Honesty is the best policy. We hear it time and again but often it escapes us when dealing with ourselves. Keep in mind we are really doing this, not for other people, but for ourselves. When we realize and accept the truth, it gives us room to go forward in our lives. We won't be holding on to beliefs that aren't real. We won't be in denial of the situation  There is always a way to be honest with ourselves and other people that is filled with compassion. Honesty doesn't have to be harsh, judgemental, or critical. To use another saying, It's not what you say but how you say it. So, be kind and compassionate in your honesty to yourself and to other people. 




Be Open.


              BeHonest.


                              Be Present and Cultivate!

Be Yourself #3

 Stop caring about how people perceive you.

this doesn't mean that other people's opinions don't matter, they are just not SO important. If we are constantly thinking about how other people perceive us we are not open. We are always thinking only of ourselves. What do they think of ME. How do they think I am as a person, friend, lover, partner, colleague etc. It is very narcissistic and keeps us disconnected from other people. We feel distant. 


Instead try to let go and LISTEN to other people. Be interested in them and forget about yourself for just a few moments. This habit will expand until there is no more room to think about yourself all the time. 


Be open.


          Listen.


                 Cultivate.


"no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" 
                                                                        -Eleanor Roosevelt 

Be Yourself #2

#2 

Avoid fixating on the past and not letting yourself grow.

One of the most unhealthy approaches to being oneself is to make a decision that who you are is defined by a moment or period of time, after which you spend the rest of your life trying to still be that person from the past rather than someone who is still you but grows with the passing of each season and decade. Allow yourself this space to grow, to improve, to become wiser. And allow yourself to forgive past errors and past behaviors you're not so proud of. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you've made; they're done and in the past. You had your reasons for them and the decision made sense at the time, so instead of harnessing yourself to past mistakes, allow yourself to learn their lessons and continue to grow.


Look for people around you who proudly proclaim they are no different than they were the day they turned 16 or 26 or 36, or whatever. Do these people seem flexible,easygoing, happy people? Often they are not because they are so busy insisting that nothing has changed for them ever, that they're incapable of taking on new ideas, learning from others, or growing. They might believe adamantly that they are "being themselves" but in reality they are often enslaved by the past and a particular image of themselves that they would have done better to have released long ago. Growth into every new age and stage of our lives is an essential part of being true to ourselves and to being emotionally healthy and whole.

Oh, this one is good. Who are we NOW. Now is really all we can do anything about so let's focus on that. It is said that people always make the best decision for themselves at the time it happens with the information they have. What we have done in the past is.... well, in the past and can't be re-done.

What we do have is now. What we do have is the ability to have the awareness to use the past to make better decisions, not to focus on our past faults or actions or even to lift ourselves up on the pedestal. Even our greatest moments or Glory days are in the past. We are not those either.

By being open to new possibilities of what we can become, learn, love and do we free ourselves of images we might have of who we think we are. 

Let Go.

       

          Grow.

   

                  Cultivate.


What ripens in any moment are seeds sown in the past. In this moment, choose consciously to sow seeds for happiness and health. Breathe your awareness into this moment.

Be Yourself #1

This is no April Fools, although I love lighthearted tricks that make me laugh.....but this is real. Authenticity. Authentic Existence. Being true to oneself. Being yourself. A subject really delved into by existentialist philosophers and now in recent years we have a newer phrase "Authentic Living" and life coaches who help others get back on track to their path of self discovery and living the life they are happiest living. I found a fun bit on Wiki How that I would like to share and discuss. The platform for cultivating Small Sun Seeds starts with being true to yourself. We are all different people connected to one another trying to accomplish all different goals. Really being true to ourselves leads to happiness and satisfaction which spreads because if you are genuinely happy you will act that way in the world. Others will feel it and they will want to know how to get it. So..... #1

Find yourself and define yourself on your terms.

 Oscar Wilde once said with his usual wit:

 Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

 As humorous as this might seem, it's a basic summation of the truth. Yet, you can't be yourself if you don't know, understand, and accept yourself first. It should be your primary goal to find this out. Find the time to dwell upon what you value and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. As part of this, contemplate your life and choices. 




Remember that the definition of YOU is ever changing as well. Who we are today is not who we were yesterday or who we will be tomorrow. Look at what you have done in the past and make a list of things you have accomplished and things you have not liked. Did you have the feeling of being forced in a certain direction? Sometimes as children we feel pressures to be a certain way or have interest in certain things. Once you are an adult it is ENTIRELY up to you. Look at the things on your list that you like.


DO MORE OF THOSE!! Really, do more of those. You will eventually find your tribe. 


Set the intention.


                    Start to shift.


                                      Cultivate.